For the past few days, I have been mulling to myself about putting up a weekly section in this blog, so much like Siddathornton’s The Sunday Currently but something more personalized, something I can freely call my own. For some reasons, I feel like The Sunday Currently is already too crowded with bloggers, and I have a particular disinterest for anything too inhabited, too occupied (or one could say, too mainstream).
For this time on, I will be posting reflections on just about anything under the sun in this new section I tagged as Wander Weekly. This will be one of the first attempts to document my thoughts again and to recover the art of writing which has been buried somewhere deep in my disregard for language and thought.
I’m going to begin with Instagram. I joined just recently and was completely overwhelmed by the experience. I am not a visual person to begin with and photos have a strange way of communicating with my head, but I decided to hop into it anyway just because I thought it was a good way to interact with people who have similar interest when it comes to beauty and skincare.
Don’t get me wrong, I find this platform fun. But at the same time I couldn’t think of any other space on the Internet more material than Instagram. I would like to consider that maybe it’s just the kind of interactions I make or the kind of people I follow, but every account and every hashtag I probe and search only speaks this covert language of material acquisition.
I also cannot disengage the fact that Instagram, in some sense, is closely connected to the habit of online shopping (or shopping in general). Once again, don’t get me wrong. I like online shopping too, but don’t you think there is a borderline between shopping out of necessity and shopping out of obsession? I have fallen victim with the latter, and was only able to realize this obsession when I was arranging my items in the closet one day and was having a hard time trying to stuff everything in.
To think that I just had my closet renovated a few months ago to make more room for clothes, it was somehow painful for me to see every inch of the space occupied by things I actually thought I needed, when in fact they were all just petty objects of this sad obsession.
And this brings me to the final section of this reflection which is responsible hauling. The truth is, sometimes I find myself quite a contradiction when it comes to my hobby as a beauty blogger and to my personal belief in moderation. I know that when it comes to beauty blogging, one must embrace brands and products, and showcase shopping hauls every now and then. Obviously, shopping isn’t mandatory for anyone but one can not deny the invisible imposition of the beauty blogging culture to acquire items for content material. But you see, I simply can not swallow the fact that I have to buy to blog.
When I started joining K-Beauty a few months ago, I actually bought quite a number of stuff, enough to last me for a year or two. Today, I couldn’t bring myself to buy more just because I know I still have a lot of items to use up.
It doesn’t make sense to carry this kind of contradiction in life: to want one thing but to believe in another. For all I know, if someone sends me on a plane to Myeongdong and take me on a shopping spree right now, it would blow my brains out and make me so damn happy, but only for a while. But to refuse to cave in to what you do not uphold as true and to stand for your philosophy even if they may sound like a protest to the prevailing culture of the modern world, I think that may brings us to something greater than happiness.
I am going to end this entry with a passage I found in one of my old journals the other day. I think it is not only relevant, but maybe symbolic of the truth that is preserved within me: that even in the face of the overwhelming demand of my generation to capitalize in desire and to consume, consume, consume, I shall still remain faithful to the guiding principle that sustains me unconditionally, far more than material procurement ever will.
The moment you start looking outwards hoping for happiness is the moment you start courting disappointment for the rest of your life. Life is funny, like that. You have everything you need. You just need to know that you have it.