Wander Weekly 03: Mindless Musings on Welcoming Summer and Surviving Birthday Blues

Happy Sunday everyone! I don’t have anything prepared for this week’s Wander Weekly so I figure for this entry I am going to simply scribble my thoughts down and make the words as I go.

Two things fill my mind lately. First is the start of my most favorite season, and second is the fast approaching moment of my birthday. Two things that I used to look forward to when I was younger, two things that I used to wish would last longer, but now haunts me like a phantom, like malevolence itself is chasing after my fragile heart and there is no way for me to go, no exit door for me to escape to, no alleyways for me to duck and take cover.

When I turned 19 about a few years ago, I assured myself that I wasn’t lost and that I was only drifting, roaming, wandering like a feather in flight. The breeze was my friend and the rays of sunshine were the only light that fed me and kept me alive, and the vastness of the world in which I occupy only a tiny space was my home.

In a matter of days, I am going to turn a year older and I tell myself the same thing, only with a more forceful assertion and with a stronger reassurance that this time things might be a lot easier.

I find myself at the crossroad of a crusade, inside the quarter of a time spent and traded for foolish people and for foolish things. I am lost more than ever, a lonely satellite in space resembling the tragic Sputnik, waiting for its time to blast into pieces.

The older people around me laugh at the way I openly embrace this cynicism and tell me I am too young to feel so old. But what is the difference anyway? I feel like I already died when I was 19, when I lied to myself that I was only wandering to mask the truth that I really didn’t know how to navigate through life. And even at 21, I felt like the turbulence of my youth has already bid its farewell and taken my time.

But you see, even in the midst of this melancholy I am still glad to say this: that at least I made it to another birthday, to another year.

It is not as believable when you only think of it in your head than when you speak the words out loud. So you tell yourself out loud, “Happy Birthday to you.” 

 

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25 thoughts on “Wander Weekly 03: Mindless Musings on Welcoming Summer and Surviving Birthday Blues

  1. Interesting thoughts. At one point, I had similar thoughts. So, I decided to just “wing it” and live a simple and happy life along the way. This is difficult to do in a busy and materialistic city of Hong Kong, but I always try my best.

    I haven’t watched any of the HP films as well. Though since books are generally better than their film adaptations, I don’t think I missed that much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comment truly makes me glad, Sir Edmark! Yes, at some point we reach a certain phase in life where it is much better to wing everything than to brood over one’s miseries. I haven’t gotten to that point yet, but hopefully I will soon. Thank you for your insight on this matter.

      Also, it is nice to know someone who hasn’t seen HP films. I am about to believe the entire world is crazy over this series haha. I guess not!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.

        I think that I only watched one a few film adaptations like The Godfather, Blade Runner and Gone with the Wind. And I have watched the LoTR trilogy as well, though I didn’t bother to watch the Hobbit trilogy.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. OH! Love this post girl! I just followed you too! Would love to be blogger friends with you! I’m Chy from Her Lost Mango! Nice to meet you! I post about fashion, travel and lifestyle. Some of my Europe trip is up now! I just posted too my favorite fashion pieces and you can shop them too! Hope to hear from you! XOXO lovelots! – Chy http://herlostmango.com

    Like

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